Sunday, April 24, 2011

In the Quiet

In the quiet 
is the remembering of you
In the quiet
is the mornings that I held  you
In the quiet
is the missing of you
In the quiet is your cry 
I still hear 
In the quiet of night
like a child 
I still fear

In the quiet 
there is I 
Being quiet 
a secret 
of being
told to be quiet

Now quiet 
       so quiet 
I feel I want to scream 
and try 
          a quiet scream 
Is all I know 

I cant save you 
like I thought
your now so young 
and Im so old 
we have grown apart
I don't know you anymore
and you don't know me 
we used to trust
each other
protect each other
but I have grown
and you have stayed behind
as me at three
so quiet
till now

You wake me up
in nightmarish dreams
I hear you scream
only to wake
and find its me
You whisper things
that a child
shouldn't know
You cry tears
through my eyes
and now your depressed
and the doctors
are filling my head
with your mess
Im now trying to hide from you 
Like they hid me
from the world 

and now I have hid from myself
and the world
and now its too late
theres no way to go back 
there is no way to explain you 
there is no way You can talk 
and I don't even know how 

All I know is how to be quiet
Im sorry I left you behind
I can't tell you what happen
Like you can't speak for me now 
     You have to go
I can't have you in this world 
No one listened
         No one is listening now

Theres no place for  you here
Im all grown up  
     and Im frightened of you
Im not sure of what you saw 
of what you know

and I don't want to know 
its far too late for all of that 
be still now 
please be quiet  

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss.
    There is often a gap between mother and child in understanding.
    Children run into their own set of hurts, and the gap in understanding with others increases.
    And children will blame things on their parents. It's the way things are, because bad things happen to everyone, and we all look for someone to blame.
    Unless we're very lucky, many of us end up alone. People move away, friends die,and families have rifts.
    Many people turn to religion and the society there.
    And for many there are social media.
    I think twitter is very good for linking blogs, which link thoughts, and there is some privacy in replying.
    Know that many people go through horrible stuff, different than yours, but bad all the same.
    We stick together and get through this with friendships and acquaintanceships. Huggs : )