Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Three Quiet Poems

The Python Sea

I love the trees
with its twigs that nest
the harmonic sounds
of a magpies cry
from stark white gums
beneath a chameleon sky
the sunsets
with slight burnt colours of rusty
corrugated roofs
Light glares at those who dare
to stare
as it bares itself naked
the sun melts
into the wet mouth
of a python sea

Moon Love

bonfire sparks of light
reflect across the fall of night
prisms of starlight
blink in and out
as the moon lies
in sensuous curve
for lovers eyes

A New Day

pink ribbons of blossom
tie the knots of green buds with bows
petaled in curls of sunlight
splashes of play fill
puddled shadows
the sounds of kookaburra laughter
pegs the morning on a line of fresh day
blowing without a care
an electricity of breeze
blows the blue sky
into a new day

Monday, August 22, 2011

Dedicated to the #CatholicChurch Moms the Word

Everyday I dig a little deeper
Insane now for the pain
I let it spill out
with no care about the mess
I was so particular
about the slightest flaw

my secrets lived alone with me
and I
To be so alone
to live so lonely
so angry
sealed with a permanent smile

is a distance
that can never be reach
there is nothing here
in this secret place
barred with razor wired teeth
Points and frowns
where nightmares are made of brand new days
where nights are a burial of fear

There is no safe
there is no place
for this is not a memory
a photo of keepsake
a past to look back on
a shared happening in history
a party breaker
a conversation maker

This is a place called shame
this is my name
I am to remove myself from society
place myself as the garbage I am
and at no cost involve myself with life
I gave up these rights when I gave birth to life

   and don't I ever dare to think of indulging myself
with grandeur ideas
of thinking I could even possibly be forgiven
for committing such an immoral act
young single and pregnant
Oh thats right You don't think do you
Your trash dumb stupid bad simpleminded slut
                 all That can be forgiven
but YOU  You  and YOU
Pregnant.... single No family
No no no
Mothers do not
                     are not
made of such beginnings

For me the force of my pregnancy and for many
         was the beginning of my end
all over within seconds with my No meaning Yes
An alcoholic beverage
filled with drugs for leverage
was the daddy long legs
a spider that decided my fate
No meant Yes
was asking for more
were tears of Joy
After which wrapped in his web
kept for a undetermined time
where i escaped
and begged and begged and begged
for help
as my belly
got to big for my belt
I was ignored
and ignored
and ignored

until I gave birth
and the clucky nuns
who had a list of good moms
paid visit to the farms
moms to breed
were left in rooms
with signs stating
Isolation Do Not Enter Diseases
New moms who had no families
homeless fearful vulnerable
first timers  mothers
with no where to go .....

this is the place and the time
for many

for some who escaped
we were finally caught
there must have been a silent nod
that it was only a matter of time
we would be found

Trickery manipulation of situations
would be used to the max
to pry from clinging arms
the gold bar of life
the child

There is no way no thing no say
that can erase the loss the grief
of a child that is taken away

Within your body and mind
the power and control
grinds it way throughout
your day and nights
                                                    and you dare not move
                                                    not a thought is removed
                                                    You stay for the rest of your life
                                                    In that day that year that time
                                                    that your chid your baby was taken

By You Society You the Nurses the Doctors the Police the Welfare
Your System Your G0d the all Mighty Catholicism of Godly deeds Moral Justly and Right
Set to be the authority on Care of life
whats good whats wrong whats right

Before you existed my own blood
had stained my families snow white sheet
By five
I was named
Little bitch
so easy for you
wasn't it Sister Mary Merry Nun
you knew of this seed
and did nothing to stop the growth
you kept on sowing
the misery the abuse violence the naive the vulnerable minds of life

My shame
           you said
should never be said
You stole my child
and threw me out
you said
             Moms the word
you be silent or your child will be hurt

               and now
Look at me
the adult I am
thinking now
I have these rights
but where and how and what to...
God only knows
after what shame
                   and secrets do
right ...

what rules apply I wonder
wen having to be your own psych
for no one not even God has made contact
since you announced that what you did was wrong
that You are
                                                                                     Sorry .........

I take another stab at getting my head around your sorry
and what this means
am I allowed to say
I am a mother now
or was a mother
Is ?
my child an adult now
    this child of mine
has been abused and shamed too
how could you
and your sorry
that one Hurts
I've not looked at this
you stole from me

did they the sorry ones think about all this
      they said sorry
did they think
about all those burials
mothers burying their babies
births alive in their minds
All the Lies and secrets told
to a world of life
the self denial
when asked if a mother
what to say No No No I am shame shit and lame
I cant tell anyone that i am a mother
am I
what I am

Did you give thought to what we say now
to the world ?

as nuns you were allowed to keep your habit
just change the cosmetics
blend in with life
wear sneakers sunnies and hats
that slide across your lying eyes
so nobody can tell
you apart from hell

Now Im in hell
on earth
this very moment
Im looking at a multitude of
ways to get my head around
your sorry
your flakey blakey sorry
fuck you
you liar
pants on fire
I never grew up
you stunted my growth
your a cancer without
the fag
Oh fag lets talk about fags
you have done your fucking best there too
haven't you Oh Catholic Mighty One
No God would steal the child from the mother
you Mother fuckers
you fucking cunts of habit
you poofta bashed your sermons
used a brainwash of hell and shame
with the vulnerable and gentle
You made our names a stain

You gave us no choice
with your gangs of bent morals
To believe
I was bad
a disease
fit for no life
I have hid in the shadows
fearing motherhood relationship friends career love life god ME
I fear Me

When you stole my child
you stole my soul
my spirit died
committed suicide