Wednesday, August 7, 2013

secrets secrets secrets

ssh quiet whispers between filtered lights
blinds shut curtains pulled
now all hidden in the mind
don't matter
won't matter
you'll grow up
and forget this secret life
All a lie  a secret grows
like a noxious weed
its poisonous roots
deep within your mind

this isn't your regular little white lies secrets
or I'll tell you a secret
this is like life and death secrets
that one out of a million gets to have it
rare but not that rare
the type that can wipe your life off the face of the earth secret
you grow with a secret
Secrets recognize you
You cant let go
You cant leave a secret behind
the best you can do
is try to hide it
keep it quiet
deep somewhere
in your mind

It comes with you for the rest of your life
gathering more as you try to live
telling lies for the sake of getting by
taught by fathers mothers sisters  brothers
never is their color
only shades and dim lights
in the secrets that you despise

growing up
a quiet child
hiding back in corners
running from the secrets
that tie life itself in knots
tangled and frayed
the secrets multiply with the lies

Shying from the spot light
running scared all through life
never knowing quite why
but lie you do
and smile
as you become the pro
to the tricks of the trade
in a secret life

years of secrets pass
Secrets come and go
secrets find you
add you to their life
then leave you just as quickly
but not before they stain you
with their dirty bloody lies

till suddenly your all alone
you learn to dig your own hole
bury yourself alive
a master of the mask
always laughter happy smiles to hide
the sadness that stagnates
like a festering scab
you pick at it
telling bits and pieces
like a poem
of cryptic clues

Like a life wiped out by hurricane
you have no resume to life
no family no belonging no friends no history

this is my secret life

If i told you here today
right here now
Who I am
what happened to me
what became
of me
the places I've been
the people I have met
the people I have been with
and the people I have been
the things that I have seen
  The things that I have done
the things done to me
what would you make of me
what would you say about me
If I told you my secrets
would you still want to ...........
you'll have to take this with you
it will own you
for the rest of your life

1 comment:

  1. Brilliant poem!! I had to go back a read a few times just to soak it all in because it has so many layers. I want so badly to know your secret and share mine with you, but this knowledge would explode us both.

    I love the way you constructed this poem and kept building it block by block until the smashing conclusion

    You are an amazing writer and even more amazing person