Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Of Wasted Lands

I dressed my words in blue velvet
lay them out behind a purpled bruise shroud
of nightingales song
then screamed them through old thyme
with the burning of black rose
and still you turned the tides against me

How long do I wait
for the cry of blackbirds
to empty from the wells in my eyes
How long do I wait
for your goodbye to greet me
Just to know my words
were not the wasted lands
Of a nomad lost

Friday, May 27, 2011

Stretching the Mark of Mother

Time has threaded these violet lines
like purple bruising flames burn
with fierce claim
to what was once
something she was honoured for
in wax bikini fame

She hooks to one with her mind and pulls
screaming twisted purple
bruising blues of pain
and there you are
in the back of mind
always lurking
reminding her
of why these marks came their way
of why she is scarred and he still looks the same
Not fair not fair not fair she claims
to the wicked violet flames

and as her mind claims hook to another line
the brightest of
has entered her room
and asks
what are you doing mommy
your face looks funny
why are you playing with your tummy
do you want me to tickle you

and all that was and all that is and all the flames and pains and gains
stand small and innocent
wanting nothing from you
Only what you give
mothers love
and to tickle your tummy 

Monday, May 23, 2011

Why Knot

Big blue ribbon bows for eyes
a chocolate of soft centres
looks up to the mothers face
screams .... Why Not
The mother bends down
and says because I said sooo
and ties the mouth into a very tight knot
with a pretty pink bow

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Gun in My Hand ~ Tick Tock Tick Tock

Day or night
there was no sleep
there was no day
there was no night
there was only fear
in fear there is no fight
there is no flight
wings are clipped
and fight is flight
and there is no flight
because your wings
exist no more

Day and night
the knife in the eyes
blink you loose
try to sleep
I take your eyes
not a tear not one tear
fell from these eyes

breathe on tippy toes
dont let the monster know
see through the six sense
even ten would not be enough
your food is intuition
thats all the heart beat has
To try and feel what next
  the monster minds
      in his nest

Mind games of
              no rules or destination
no corners for the captive
Just sharp sharp edges
In the dark recesses of the monster nest
    And in this nest
           an egg rest
shiny cold dark brutal death
Its hatching is loaded
Just waiting
       like a last breath

She picks up the egg so carefully
as though this egg could break
fragile dark death
She knows now life's fragile spot
she knows where this spot is hidden
what a clever monster this is..
She holds the egg to the monsters head
while the monster sleeps
his meal off
  of you

You think
tick tock
tick tock
tick tock
but a bar is there within you
You try your hardest to crack the egg
but your mind has lost control
Its hands its fingers are frozen and numb
You know it cant be done
and so
 tick tock
 tick tock
you run
knowing if nothing changes
he'll find you
and kill you

Thursday, May 19, 2011


If I could cry
Oh if I could
What a cry it would be
Every deed and err
Every Sin I have incurred
Would be there in that cry

If I could cry
Oh if I could
I would let you in
and let you out
I would embrace you
with my snot and tears
I would cover you
in my fucking fears
I would scream that cry
I would fucking die
and take everyone with me
drown the world in my tears
It would be the Niagara
It would be the Tsunami
of all cries
If I could cry

If I could cry
If I dared to cry
If I had the guts
the honesty
the breakdown
in me
to cry
It would be for the very loss
of  you
that would be my cry
If I could cry

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Please don't make Stupid Soup

what is maybe your interpretation of stupid
to another maybe all they know
war & spite economics rules our life
lets find our way back to giving and caring
and just doing the decent thing
its not really that hard
have patience with the so called stupidity of another
there is always going to be those who
were born into this world of ours
with out a parent who knows
without people who care
without love
that are lead into despair
who practice unreasonable things
who say and do the unremarkable
but never the less may hurt or be hurt
squashing those who are naive to their loads
is not ever going to help
make the stupid go away
all it will do is make
stupid soup
to feed the minds the follow your way...,,,

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Fragile survival

The blossoms slight of pink
fragile life
Yet the strength it takes in the seasons
to survive and bear the fruit
Often too cold
         or the soil
hardened by the fired sun

These blooms like a woman
                 so like a child
soft gentle blossoms
                soft gentle child
How fragile seems a woman
especially with child

So like the blossom on the tree
these fragilities of life
can survived
even the worst of life
          for some
children      like the blossom
their birth comes too early
Only survives
           against all odds

Like the blossoms that looks so gentle
soft, fragile of bloom
so is life

Not so fragile are we
     in life
We are none of us permanent
We are none of us fragile
Only fragile to the possibility
       of life's abruptness to end
So like the blossoms that have the strength to bear the fruit
We are an endless possibility
                       to the survival of our life 

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The longest Day Child

During day light hours the masks of the boogyman'
cover the faces of hell
Soapsuds put shine on the Have a Nice Days
whilst boogyman now smiles waiting 
for the end of the day 

Into the car 
and off to the school 
Always the longest day 
thats always the rule

Never has a child wished 
that a day would just stay a day
never end just be a day always a day 

Have a nice day 
says the boogyman
with the face of the father
bang bang with his horn
see your after school 

Did ever a child so quiet 
in school 
play lonely games 
of how long can a child 
stay invisible today

The smiles of a child who's father is the boogyman
Eager to please haunted with greed of attention
Seeks the child within 
like a thief this child creeps 
no one likes this troubled child
who just cant sit still long enough
Or sits still for far too long
who never reads or wants to sings songs
who steals and screams and wheels and deals
And She's Only Five ~
Hear the Teachers  Cry!

At night ~ this child,  paints a blue sky with her eyes
she grows wings ` and Says to the boogyman
You Can't Catch Me  Im so High In my blue blue sky
You cant touch me now
but every night when she tries to take flight
the boogyman's hands have grown to the other side
He is always bigger higher taller than she can ever fly

His hands have flames that burn with pain
His eyes have hooks and
his words are big giants that gobble her words
that cover her face making her choke as she swallow herself inside
looking for a place to hide
She can never complain
Instead her pain takes her away and Gives her a name
and replaces her with someone brave
who shields her pain until its day

When she tried to tell her mother
the night time hurt her
Her mother laughed ~ and told her father
When she tried to tell her mother
that the boogyman was her father
Her mother told her
Her father loved her

Remember the child in the corner of school
who played imaginary games
and screamed at rules
who's friends were all invisible
who spoke languages unknown
who shied and spied and stole
and cajoled
who cried and whimpered like a scared dog
if anyone tried to touch her locks

or sat alone   staring into space
who didn't speak   was quiet and bleak
who's eyes looked sooo dark
for a child of five
who couldn't look you in the eye

who often seem wide eyed asleep
and could never remember 
the a b c's 
Then this maybe 
the longest day 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Blame and Shame of a Name

Who am I
If i don't know who does
I hear often that
if I allowed myself to believe ~ to let go of my fears
That God knows who I am
I Say God knows
I say it often ~ because I truly don't know

and Truth is
If God did once know
I think he lost track with me long long ago
cause I have been so many many names
and with those names comes
a person
As I grew up so did the many names
and as quick as they were born they died
I had burials for them all
Bonnie Billy Jean and May Rae for awhile
Star Bright Star Crash and then Fall

When I was small my first name given was Little Bitch
as I grew older It became just Bitch then Bloody Bitch
Then Slut Crazy Dumb Stupid Bitch
Until one day the names just all blurred into one
and I started making up my own names for me
The names you see above, Names of stars
Names Id heard from movies and such Names of persons I'd tried to be
Hoping that if I took a little from all of these stars
some of their shine would perhaps rub of on me
and maybe maybe for awhile I could be Star or Bonnie Billy Jean
and for a while not be blamed not be shamed

Now in between my names and their names a lot of time has past
and much and many and most things happened to me ~ all of me ~ included each and every  name
and much and many and most things I don't remember and much and many and most things
I can remember
and then things just became a blur
I would often find myself '
just staring into the night sky
wishing praying asking begging who am I
and thinking If I had a name My own very own name
one that didn't cause any blame any shame
I might be able to be free
find me ~ find who I am
and just be
Now the only stars I allow myself to name
are those I can truly see

I had read somewhere that we were created from stars
and knew that I was born
under star sign of cancer

One winter night as I stared up to the skies
I asked God I asked the Universe ~ Who am I
I looked to the stars in the heavens that night
And saw for myself the most wonderous sight
between Gemini and Leo
Is the mid winter constellation Cancer
and amongst all the stars in the deep of the dark
I was staring at the Beehive Cluster
Praesepe I whispered The Manger The Crib

A tear I have held for years inside the rubble of me
fell, broke inside ~ and a explosion of emotions
I finally expressed came out like the scream of hell
and with it a flood of tears that overwhelmed
I had always wondered about my very last name
Beez Why I had even thought such a name could be me
as I had wondered back long ago
why the people who parented me
wanted to be my parents ~ when finding a suitable name for me
came only with blame and shame
I don't know now what brought me to this name
all I know is since I have been beez
I have not been blamed and shamed
and I am happy
just to be

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Taken Hostage to The Biggest Safe in the World

I have been imprisoned
Taken hostage for the lack of love
Had a gun held at my skull
Been thrown in a cell
where the sewage pipes played shitty tunes
and the rats floated with ease
waiting and watching for me
to give in or catch a disease and die
Dead or alive
Rats figure Its only a matter of waiting
and time

I have been imprisoned
for more years than
anyone can count

I have been locked up with no window
Its called the mushroom cell dark and dank
I spent many a month living in this hole
I have lived in fear
I have been fearful to live
I have been kicked on spat on pissed on shit on pulled apart and put back together
and i never ever spoke a word or cried a tear
the only thing I did was wish to be loved
to be thought of as dear to be free from my un- life of unfree

To finally find a way out of my prison n
to finally be living in within the system
To conform and do what you have been told you been missing
Is a scary thing indeed
for this is what you are told - If and when you are to be free
Or find a loop hole which was to be my means
to the the other side
with a key to be free to life

To suddenly realise - see with your own eyes
How many are living in fear without steel bars
How many do time and don't know they're living this lie
How many then stand up and cheer for the kill
Celebrate death like its real fucking chill
Give up the rights of others for spite
Dob in a brother over a fight
Take out a sister and turn on your mother's
Kick out the fathers for fucking with lovers

     And all the time - The guards watch on
as concrete sets and keeps growing miles n miles long
and the boys still - are going to wars - no one questioning this flaw
Well not near loud enough to make others stand up and take the floor
Cuz mumbles don't do it  - and demonstrations are ignored
       And the food!  The food thats being poisoned - We know this Yet
We shop for more and more
Yes I know what bars are I also know a cell when Im in one
I've been in many and this is just one more
This ones only bigger
To fit the bigger hoard
Most the time
like its called inside - You hang out in the yard
You've all got your own cliques
all suspicious racist bigots greenies newbies dogooders drug pushers and drugie's junkies suits and blues
dogs and fresh meat from another street moving in - moving out - moving on
there is no different out from in
Its just a matter of time
and how you see yourself doing it
Either conform or get informed or get Informed On
I was never let out - I've always been in
This is the main stream of time
The main stream in life
Most of the time
you head back home
home to your cells
Its a place you feel safest no matter what the time

Every now and again your reminded
You hear of breaks or people being killed
in your cell or on the street
You know deep down in side
Your not as safe as you think
You also know the system don't give a shit
The system has got us good and tight
when your let out from in
Your just back behind the other side
the steel bars didn't go anywhere - they're still there
The razor wires been cosmetically changed
its now cameras and security checks of x-rays and dog sniffs Cops doing their checks
so the system can rest
Lazers and bullets are what comes next
with the guise of the care takers protection protector protective net
Really its just a way of keeping us all conformed
not informed

Oops regretfully we made a mistake - LOOK at Poor ole granny
lazered n filmed Six on all the news
DON"T aSk questions Granny... and Yes she was ..
really a granny - a sweet ole granny
Not a big bad rock spider Moving in Next to you
      Using head cases such as rock spiders rapist and terrorist Keep us at bay
Drug addicts dealers & miscellaneous efforts of breaking the peace
are the lollies to keep you law abiding citizens wanting the chase
for - Those who dare to question
Immediately will be looked upon with intent
So you wont see any body rushing to anyones defence
Yes we think we are being moral about this ~ we are being humane
playing this stupid systems game
its just the biggest pokies on earth

Now we just turn our own key
and lock ourselves in

Keeping the world safe from ourselves ..